Rick Robinson: Dude, Where's My Election?
Wed, 11/04/2015 - 09:22 RCN Newsdesk
The Associated Press is reporting long lines at polling places in Ohio on Wednesday morning as stoners show up to cast votes in favor of a Constitutional amendment to legalize the sale of marijuana. Told by officials that the election was over and the proposal had failed, many tardy voters were heard to say, “Huh?”
At one polling place in suburban Cincinnati, a group rallied at a nearby convenience store where they pooled money to buy Doritos. A spokesperson for the group, Dougie Mitcher, said it was unfair to place hard and fast restrictions on the right to vote. “I have a First Commandment right that is being violated,” he said. When asked what he intended to do about it, Mitcher responded that he was going back to playing Fruit Ninja on his cell phone.
Representatives for Buckeyes for Redeyes – the Super PAC backing the proposal – said they were stunned by the opposition. “The whole monopoly argument was a surprise to us,” said a spokesperson. “I guess we didn’t realize people still played board games. Next time we’ll take that into account.”
Believing part of the problem was accessibility, the organization promised to look into voter reforms.
“We intend to approach the Ohio General Assembly next year to locate polling places in Grand Theft Auto.”
Despite the assurances, people like Mitcher remained upset by the outcome. “As soon as I can afford a US Passport, I’m moving to Colorado,” he said.
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