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Rick Robinson: Obama's Post-Election Soliloquy

(With sincere apologies to Billy Shakespeare)

Act III, Scene II
Friends, Romans from Georgia, editorial cartoonists, quit making fun of my ears;
I come to bury Pelosi and Reid, not to praise those who followed them.
The evil that men do at the ballot box lives but a cycle after them;
The good is oft interred until the next presidential year;
So let it be with Democrats. The noble Republicans
Hath told you Pelosi and Reid were obstructionists:
If it were so, it was Bush’s fault,
And grievously hath voters answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Debra Wasserman Schultz and the rest –
For Boehner and McConnell are honourable men;
So, except for the Koch brothers, are they all, all honourable men –
Come I to speak of my party’s Lame Duck.
The party was faithful and just to me:
But Republicans say Pelosi and Reid were obstructionists;
And Boehner and McConnell are honourable men.
They hath brought many Republicans to the Dome
Whose ransoms did the PAC coffers fill:
Did this in Pelosi and Reid seem obstruction?
When that the poor have cried, Democrats hath wept:
Obstruction should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Boehner and McConnell say Pelosi and Reid were obstructionists;
And Boehner and McConnell are honourable men.
You all did see that after the election,
I thrice presented them a bourbon summit,
Which they did thrice refuse: was this obstruction?
Yet Boehner and McConnell say Reid and Pelosi were obstructionists;
And, sure, they are honourable men.
I speak not to disprove what Boehner and McConnell spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did once love Pelosi and Reid, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for them?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish Sunday morning talking heads,
And news have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Pelosi and Reid,
And I must pause till I issue my first post-election executive order.

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This article first appeared at RARE and is reprinted with permission.