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Rick Robinson: What I Learned the Past 2 Weeks from the DNC & RNC

Over the past two weeks, millions of voters have been glued to their television sets watching an on-going serious dialogue on the critical issues facing America. Of course, I’m talking about the South Park marathon on Comedy Central.  

A few people who already know who they’re voting for in November actually tuned into coverage of the political party conventions from Cleveland and Philadelphia. For those who prefer Randy Marsh and Leopold Stotch over Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, here is what I was able to decipher from following Anderson Cooper and Sean Hannity on Twitter.

Scott Baio loves The Donald more than Joanie loves Chachi. Al Franken remains the funniest man in Congress. And Hillary Clinton has more endorsements from celebrities for whom I don’t understand their relevance than Donald Trump.   

The cities themselves – Cleveland and Philadelphia – presented excellent venues for each party. Unfortunately, many Republican elected officials avoided Cleveland as if the arena was an open swim venue at the Rio Olympics. Lots of Democrat officials went to Philadelphia. Although after being thrown under the Obamacare bus in a party produced video, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel probably should’ve stayed home.

Rick Robinson: To Bern or Not to Bern

In Philly, delegates toured Independence Hall where future-Presidents Jefferson and Adams signed the Declaration of Independence – a tour evidently missed by the various speech writers who declared Hillary Clinton the best prepared person for the Presidency in American history. Republican delegates walked around Cleveland’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame where they reveled in the music to be played live the next week in Philadelphia. (Note to readers who dissed Paul Simon’s singing – he’s 74 for Gawd’s sake).

Bernie Sanders’ supporters “Felt the Bern” as the Vermont Senator orchestrated the downfall of the Democratic chair, cheered and jeered as he went to state Democratic caucuses in support of Hillary Clinton, and cried as he announced the vote to make her the nominee. In a historic display of party unity, Bernie then quickly announced he would return to the Senate as an Independent.

There was a lot of talking. Trump’s family sure likes to talk. Original content, however, is not necessarily their strong suit. The Clinton family also talked – just not to the press. Talking heads on various networks filled the void with more talking about the talking taking place on the stage and behind the scenes. There was so much talking that today libraries across the country must be filled with bug-eyed television viewers in search of silence.

Rick Robinson: Ted Cruz's RNC Speech as a Shakespearean Soliloquy

Conventions always seem to have bad moments and this year each party had their share. The biggest embarrassment for Democrats came on the first day of their convention when apparently Vladimir Putin stole all the American flags from the stage. For the Republicans, the biggest embarrassment was when Sen. Ted Cruz endorsed Putin for President.

In an effort to appeal to America’s largest growing minority group, both parties chose old white guys as VP candidates. Unlike Senator Franken, neither is very funny at all. And, while the normal political axiom is: “No one votes for Vice President,” this year we are talking about Clinton v. Trump.

In an odd game of musical chairs, a guy named Reince ended up being more popular than a woman named Debbie.

Finally, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton – waiving royalties and speaking fees, respectively – spoke for a combined 132 minutes, which turns out to be exactly how long it takes to watch 4 ½ episodes of South Park.

Rick Robinson is an award winning and Amazon top selling author of political thrillers. His latest, The Advance Man, can be found on Amazon and at bookstores everywhere.
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